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Archive for the ‘Commitment’ Category

Q&A: I have avoidance issues. What should I do about my relationship?

Tweet I have recently come to believe I have an insecure attachment style and that it is probably fearful avoidance. I want to be in a loving relationship but I have never been emotionally close to anyone. Not my family or a girlfriend or anything. I have no problem with lust, I am highly critical […]

Q&A: Why is my boyfriend too scared to continue our relationship?

Tweet My boyfriend and I have been dating for ten months. Today he told me he doesnt think he is ready for a relationship and broke up with me. I asked him why he would be ready for a relationship for ten months but all of a sudden he isn’t. His response was, “I don’t […]

Q&A: Why are all my relationships long-distance?

Tweet Hey, First and foremost I’m really nervous. But thank you for giving me a place to come ask someone who may have a clue or some answer to my question. A little about my self; I do music. I perform, I write, I’m always working on my career because it’s my dream. I’m 20 […]

Signs of Commitment Phobia

Tweet Several readers have asked whether commitment phobia is a kind of avoidant attachment. I wouldn’t say that commitment phobia is a kind of avoidant attachment. But the two conditions often coincide. True commitment phobia is fear of any kind of commitment that involves other people, not just relationship commitment. People with commitment phobia need […]

Ability to Love Takes Root in Earliest Infancy, According to New Research

Tweet This new Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation is quite interesting in light of the discussions on this blog about insecure attachment styles. According to the study, our ability to engage in healthy attachment later in life is determined during early childhood. These findings are consistent with the lessons of attachment theory. It […]

Q&A: My ex didn’t want to have sex. Could I have acted differently?

Tweet I met someone recently who seemed to think I was utterly fantastic, although she didn’t want to have a relationship. We hung out nearly every day for about a week and a half and I even stayed at her place. Although she didn’t want a relationship, we were still rather affectionate with each other: […]

Q&A: I am afraid he will leave if I don’t have sex with him

Tweet We have been in a relationship for more than a year. In the beginning of our relationship he said he just loves me too much and that it has nothing to do with lust or anything like that, but now he wants me to smootch him and let him touch my body parts, which […]

Q&A: I had sex with a married man

Tweet I thought I’d never go there but I had sex with a married man I met in a club. He was on a business trip. Afterward, he was really into staying in touch, and we did for a while. He seemed really into me. Then suddenly NOTHING. What’s going on? “Michelle” (not her real […]

Q&A: What is a bipolar attachment style?

Tweet Hi, I think I saw you write something about bipolar attachment style but now I can’t find the post. What is a bipolar attachment style? Is it related to bipolar mood disorder? How do I know if I have it? Dear K., “Bipolar” means “characterized by opposite extremes.” What we call “a bipolar attachment […]

People with an avoidant attachment style cheat more

Tweet People with an avoidant attachment style are afraid of committing to other people in a long-term relationship. They have a so-called “insure attachment style.” The insecurity is grounded in an ability to trust other people. Their lack of trust makes them fear true intimacy and other vulnerable exposures. Despite their fear of intimacy, people […]

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