Q&A: How do I make him fall in love with me?

Hi Dr. Brit. I would like to know if there is any possible way to make a man fall head over heels in love with you even if you already had sex with him many times.

Yours Respectfully,

“Carly” (not her real name)

Dear “Carly,”

It is certainly possible with some men. A man who is not emotionally unavailable may start feeling emotionally attracted to someone he has only previously felt physically attracted to. Christian Carter’s e-book Catch Him and Keep Him provides some great insights into how to turn physical attraction into emotional attraction.

Physical attraction by itself is not sufficient for a man to want to be connected with you on a deeper emotional level. Most men are capable of having excellent sex with a woman they are not romantically interested in. Assuming that just because you had sex with a man he will feel emotionally attracted to you is going to lead to disaster.

However, having had sex with a man who is not romantically interested in you does not rule out that he might become interested. Whether his feelings for you will change depends in part on how to react after you had sex with him. It will be a turn-off for anyone if you start to act like a girlfriend just because you had a few sexual encounters. The safe thing to do is not have more expectations after casual sex than after a coffee date. Any increased expectations will be a turn-off.

For a man to fall in love with you, he will need to feel emotionally and intellectually attracted to you and not just physically attracted. This sort of attraction develops only if you have an attractive personality, a personality that radiates positive energy and self-confidence. If you have a negative attitude and low self-esteem, your man may still feel physically attracted to you but he will not fall in love.

To come across as a positive and attractive person, avoid being demanding and negative. Don’t criticize him or express your feelings to him prematurely. Don’t be a drama queen. These things are not things you can pretend. If you don’t feel good about yourself and you don’t have a positive attitude, then he will sense the underlying negativity and this will immediately turn him of.

Good luck!


Dr. Brit, co-author of The Breakup Cleanse

If you had one chance to ask Dr. Brit or Catherine any question about love or relationships, what would your single most important question be? You can submit your question here.

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