Q&A: I had sex with a married man

I thought I’d never go there but I had sex with a married man I met in a club. He was on a business trip. Afterward, he was really into staying in touch, and we did for a while. He seemed really into me. Then suddenly NOTHING. What’s going on?

“Michelle” (not her real name)

Dear “Michelle”

First we will have to tell you what we are sure you already know: It is NOT a good idea to have sex with a married man or woman or a person in a committed relationship. Your one-night-stand guy was cheating on his wife. But you contributed to the cheating. Furthermore, he was married. Married entails UNAVAILABLE. He is not up for grabs. He is taken.

That said, it is hard to say why your married man was into you at first and then cut the connection without telling you why. Some possible reasons:

  1. His wife could have found out and to save his marriage, this was what he had to do.
  2. He was afraid that his wife would find out and was not virtuous enough to let you know that he was going to cut the connection.
  3. You didn’t spend enough time together to develop a deep connection. So, once apart from you , he slowly lost interest in you.
  4. He realized that he was developing strong feelings for you and was wise enough to cut the connection before it developed further. He should still have let you know, though.

In the future, try to stay away from men in marriages and committed relationships. There are plenty of single men out there!


Dr. Brit and Catherine

If you had one chance to ask Dr. Brit or Catherine any question about love or relationships, what would your single most important question be? You can submit your question here.

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