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Single Women and Dating

The dating game has changed. Many singles no longer date–they hook up. A hookup is a casual sexual encounter, usually after a party or night out, with no commitment to future encounters. In contrast, a date is a planned romantic encounter between two people that may or may not involve sex and that usually comes with the expectation that a second date could follow. Some single women complain about this change, and may still desire a life partner mainly because many singles still face social stigmas, researchers say.

Dating Frustrations

Single women are frustrated with today’s dating scene, reports Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at Saint Mary’s University in Halifax, Canada. They complain about the quality of available men and men’s new dating attitudes. Many women say the men they meet only want sex, and pretend to want a relationship until they get what they want. Fisher notes that though some single women are just looking for sex, most want to live “the plot of a romantic comedy. They want [the guy] to be clear about his love, not sending some cryptic text that is laden with ambiguity.” Read more »

Making breakups less complicated: Renting vs. owning

It may seem like a dream. You have met the love of your life, and you want to move in together. You have always dreamed of owning your own house, having a home of your own. You and your SO find a cheap starter house, finalize the deal and move in. You are living the dream.

The trouble is that more than 50 percent of marriages and relationships end within seven years. If you and your SO are among the 50 percent and you own a house together, breaking up is no straightforward matter. Before you can go your separate ways, you have a house to sell.

But isn’t living the dream worth the risk? Not obviously. Let us look at some of the alleged advantages of owning as opposed to renting: Read more »

10 quick tips to improve your mood

1. Smile and laugh. You might have to force yourself to smile. But practice smiling while talking to people. It will make you seem more approachable and help improve your mood. Laughter is even better for improving mood. Search YouTube for short videos with bound-to-make-you-laugh stand-up comedians, such as Ellen DeGeneres.

2. Plan a couple of lunch or dinner dates. Call a couple of friends, family members or colleagues and plan some lunch or dinner dates, perhaps at a couple of new cafes or restaurants that you have been wanting to go to. Having something to look forward to can boost your mood.

3. Practice mindfulness.. The basic principle of mindfulness is not to dwell so much on the past and the future. Continuing to be angry about a past event or worry about a future event can really waste precious hours of your life. Tell yourself that nothing really changes regardless of how much you think about the past and, in many cases, the future. Force yourself to think about something peaceful and positive instead. Read more »

20 random facts about dating, sex, breakups and divorce

1. According to a TED talk by David McCandless, most breakups are announced on Mondays, most breakups occur right before Spring Break and right before Christmas.

2. 15% of women in the US send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day.

3. A rabbi in L.A. invented speed dating in 1999 as an extension of a Jewish tradition of chaperoned get-togethers of Jewish singles.

4. 59% of people remain Facebook friends with an ex after they’ve broken up, according to a YourTango survey Read more »

Adrafinil for post-breakup fatigue

An unexpected breakup can lead to anxiety and depression, especially during the first few weeks following the breakup. However, you may continue to suffer from the traumatic event even once the immediate shock resides and life starts to return to normal. Common long-term effects of an unexpected breakup include mental confusion, memory problems, difficulties concentrating, mental and physical fatigue and daytime sleepiness.

These conditions could be symptoms of major depression or an anxiety disorder but they may also just indicate a slight imbalance in neurotransmitters, which can be regulated with an over-the-counter dietary supplement. I mentioned Mucuna Pruriens seed extract as a way of restoring neurotransmitter levels in an earlier post. Mucuna Pruriens seed extract can help increase motivation and the ability to feel pleasure. It is particularly effective if your symptoms are mostly physical rather than mental. If your symptoms are mostly related to memory, concentration and wakefulness, the dietary supplement adrafinil may be more effective in treating your condition.

When ingested, adrafinil breaks down into modafinil, a central nervous stimulant commonly used to combat narcolepsy. Unlike modafinil, however, adrafinil is not currently regulated by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA). This means that it currently is legal in the US to purchase and possess adrafinil without a prescription.

Adrafinil, like modafinil, increases mood and energy levels by affecting adrenergic receptors in the brain. When the chemical binds to these receptors, the brain produces norepinephrine, which helps combat fatigue and problems with motivation and centration. Adrafinil is also believed to suppress the brain’s levels of GABA and increase the levels of glutamate. GABA is the brain’s main depressive neurotransmitter, whereas glutamate is the main excitatory neurotransmitter. The effects of adrafinil on the GABA and glutamate systems help speed up thought-processes and stay focused on the task at hand. It can also prevent daytime sleepiness and general fatigue.

As adrafinil is a mild central nervous system stimulant, it could interfere with other medications you may be taking. So even though adrafinil is currently unregulated, it is a good idea to talk to your doctor before you start taking it.

Reference

Milgram, NM, Callahan, H, Siwak, C. (1999). “Adrafinil: A Novel Vigilance Promoting Agent”, CNS Drug Reviews 5: 193-212.

Mucuna Pruriens for post-breakup depression

The time immediately following a difficult breakup often is accompanied by both sadness and a manic state of mind. Your temporary insanity may lead you to beg, bribe or threaten your ex to come back. Though this time is extremely unpleasant, your energy levels are far from low. But once you have recovered from the breakup mania, your energy levels may completely drop. In some cases, depression may develop. If you satisfy several of the following conditions, you may suffer from depression.

  • Lack of energy
  • Lack of motivation
  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Mental confusion
  • Memory problems
  • Depressed mood
  • Crying spells
  • Nervousness
  • Lowered self-esteem
  • Lack of pleasure in previously enjoyed activities
  • Irritability
  • Overeating or lack of appetite
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Suicidal thoughts

If your depression is severe, you may want to ask your physician for an antidepressant. However, a dietary supplement may suffice for milder depressive states.

One promising dietary supplement for depression is Mucuna Pruriens seed extract, which is available over the counter. Mucuna Pruriens is a legume native to India. The seeds of this legume contain a number of chemicals that may be beneficial for improving mood and energy and the ability to experience pleasure. Read more »

Top ten ways to get over a breakup

The time immediately following the shock of a breakup and the time of a mad obsession are driven by the overflow of stress chemicals released by your brain in response to what is happening to you. This is a time when you are likely to act crazy! Breakup chemistry is insanity chemistry. Temper your stirred-up emotions by sticking to the following ten pieces of breakup advice:

1. Stay away from him: Don’t be a fool. Don’t contact him or try to get him back. Why not? Because you can’t convince someone to love you. It takes two to start or rekindle a romance. Your behavior is a factor but your behavior (whatever you do) is not going to be able to cast a spell on your ex and miraculously make him change his mind. Read more »

Study of Color Discimination and Color Memory

We are conducting a study of color discrimination and short-term color memory. I would be grateful if you would participate in the study. You’ll need to use the left and right arrow keys to adjust the color of a square to fit the color of a second image. It will only take about 5-10 minutes. Click on the link below to begin.
www.synesthesiaresearch.com/study

 

Q&A: Help me stop thinking about my ex girlfriend

I need your help please. My ex and I broke up in the beginning of November. I dated a girl before this last one for six years and thought she was it. I loved her so much I wanted to marry her. Things didn’t work, we broke up and as soon as we did, she was with a new guy, her ex boyfriend actually.

I was beyond devastated. I slipped into a very dark and depressing place. I was taking handfuls of pills to kill the anxiety, loneliness, and pain. It was sheer torment and agony. I got into all sorts of trouble with the law. At one point I had probation in three different courts and another one in circuit court for a felony. I did some jail time and was actually blessed by God because I got to go to a one year life skills rehab center (instead of having to go to prison). This sounds terrible I know. But trust me I am definitely not this person.

While I was there I saw this beautiful girl that was in their aftercare program. She was there for a heroin addiction. I keep hearing how promiscuous she is and how shes had sex with alot of the guys that were in the program. I was completely turned off by this. Read more »

About Irritability

Normally an astute and happy kid, 12-year-old Chase Edwards had suddenly become irritable and sulky. Chase’s parents didn’t realize that his irritability was more than just puberty hormonal changes until he decided to end his life. Chase’s case shows that irritability, particularly in children and adolescents, can be a symptom of an underlying life-threatening disorder. Other common causes of irritability are drug withdrawal, grudges and grievances, irritable male syndrome and hormone fluctuations due to pregnancy, menopause, premenstrual syndrome and thyroid disorders.

 

Grudges and Grievances

Irritability is a common symptom of a deep feeling of injustice. We call it “holding a grudge” but we don’t have a specific word for the emotion itself. The best word to describe the emotion may be the Korean word “han,” which refers to a sense that someone has done you wrong and you feel a sense of helplessness because of it. Perceived injustices can be personal as in, “My boss unfairly promoted Rick over me,” or overwrought generalizations as in, “Nothing ever goes well; this is too unfair,” says New York licensed psychologist Nando Pelusi. Pelusi speculates that the emotion evolved as “…a means of monitoring the able-bodied freeloader.” Continue reading About Irritability

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